Saturday, 20 October 2012

Moment-ous


It's 1.29pm on Wednesday 17th October.
It's difficult to get comfortable. A plaster cast is, after all, rather more cumbersome than a bandage, however thick and padded and heavy that bandage might be. I'm trying to follow the doctor's instructions to rest though, and to elevate the foot. It's propped up on the back of the sofa, while I'm cuddled into my ‘nest’, aka the corner where The Doctor usually sits. My laptop is precariously balanced - I don't exactly have a lap to rest it on when one foot is raised level with my head! I can feel the laptop's warmth on my leg. The toes of my left foot are cold, they seem to be in a draft from somewhere. In contrast, my right leg is warm and snug under the cast.
I can hear the clicking of the laptop's keys as I type, my fingernails tapping out the rhythm of my thoughts. I have a Harry Potter dvd on for company - The Goblet of Fire - I'm working through the series for the umpteenth time. I know it so well that I need only glance at the screen every so often, which is ideal right now. If I can concentrate I can hear the swish and hum of passing traffic, but these sounds are so familiar that I barely notice them.
I really fancy a cup of tea, but it feels like too much effort, too much trouble. I have a glass of water to hand, that will do. How long I wonder till the latest dose of pain relief kicks in?

I think we'll have a Chinese takeaway for dinner tonight. It'll be so much easier for The Doctor! I'm not sure about tomorrow, The Family will have pizza, but I'm not sure about me. We're invited to The Friend's for dinner on Friday. I wish I could do more to help around the house, my poor The Doctor is having to do so much and he's so tired!
I'm looking forward to having a haircut tomorrow, it's much needed. I'm glad my hairdresser is only a few doors away so I can get there despite the cast and crutches...
I'm a bit fed up that I'm still not able to return to work. I am looking forward to spending time blogging, knitting, reading and so on, but wish I could do these things without the accompanying sense of guilt. I feel bad about The Doctor having to do so much. The Children are being so good but it's not easy for them either. I'm thankful for helpful friends and neighbours, without them we'd be struggling badly.

I'm surrounded by clutter: crutches, tv/dvd/digital tv remotes, knitting, camera, mobile phone, tv guide, book, puzzle book, tissues, Graze box, rubbish bag.... On the table: glass of water, filter jug, scissors, lsned book, new zoom lens, pain relief. On the floor, within reach but with enough space for me to get past: handbag, rucksack, one single shoe!

My mind skitters. My body is at rest of necessity, but my mind can’t seem to relax. It flits from one thought to another.

It's 1:30pm. The minutes are going by slowly today.

This post was brought to you by Alexa's 'Simply A Moment'.

15 comments:

alexa said...

Mel, you are so very eloquent in the midst of such pain, discomfort and restless distraction. I am left feeling equally helpless, and wish I could just materialise at your side with a pot of tea and a Little Something :). The Doctor and the children are clearly stars. Hoping the haircut feels energising and that the guilt subsides enough to let you enjoy the things you can do. Thank-you for joining in, especially when it's such an uncomfortable typing position!

Alison said...

It IS difficult to allow our minds to relax..I know it's something I' m not very good at
Alison xx

Maria Ontiveros said...

I love how this meme allows people to mine deeper and find some truths . . . the guilt we feel when we have to rely on others; the contrast between the body at (forced) rest and the overly active mind.
Sorry to hear you're in pain; Clara was spared that for the most part after the first few days.
rinda

Cheri said...

Hope you heal up quickly! This doesn't sound like much fun - even with the blogging and knitting and DVD watching.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

Don't let the guilt get to you. I'm glad the Doctor & the Children are able to help out. remind yourself that when this is over they will appreciate all you do even more now that they have had to do it themselves.

Karen said...

There's a lot to contemplate when you're laid up. I can so relate to the clutter that surrounds an area where one is recuperating. It always drives me batty. Wish we all lived nearby and could be of some real help to you, but know we're praying for less pain and quicker healing.

gayle said...

Poor thing! You sound thoroughly fed up :( glad to hear you have lots of little bits and bobs to keep you occupied though, a watched cast never breaks ;) feel better soon Mel x

debs14 said...

Just remember how much you do for The Doctor and The Children when you are well, and don't feel guilty about having to rely on them at the moment! Being a family is being part of a team and when one team member is 'down' the rest all have to do a little more until you are fit enough to join back in. It's not as if you did this on purpose!!! Hope you are more comfortable and pain free very soon.

Jane said...

you must be so fed up with it especially as a mum has so much to do!

Miriam said...

I am sorry that you are still in pain Mel. I would make you tea, having brought you cake and a hug. This is an interesting exercise isn't it? I am touched by your honesty, I too feel those feelings when I need to accept help. I hope it wont be too many days 'til you are up & running.

Ginger said...

Hi Mel :) I am enjoying reading everyone's "simply a moment" and just finished posting my own. I really hope things get better for your foot very soon!

Oh yes and your pop out card is very cool!!

Abi said...

This is beautifully written Mel. Praying for your swift recovery. xx

Jo said...

It is horrible when we dream of having time to do the things we love and when it happens we feel so guilty about it. You have to remember that it's not your fault, it's just one of those things and the more you dwell the slower the clock might tick. I really do hope your foot gets better quickly x

Gail said...

I'm amazed you can relax your mind and yet still notice so much.

Missus Wookie said...

Finding ways to do things differently is hard. Glad the Dr and kids are helping - they'll be so glad to have you back to normal.

Enjoy the haircut and hopefully catch up on the blogging and knitting.