Saturday, 7 August 2010

Advice for jobseekers

Don't put any of the following in your application!
  • Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job.
  • The company made me a scapegoat, just like my previous three employers.
  • Marital status: often. Children: various.
  • References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
  • Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore.
  • Personal interests: donating blood. 14 gallons so far.
  • Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
I'm assured all the above genuinely appeared on application forms. This last one didn't but so nearly did - a friend of mine put it on his application to do a PCGE (teaching qualification) but fortunately realised in time!
  • I have had experience with children in many different fields.

9 comments:

Rachel said...

Nothing would surpise me on application forms these days. Some of the forms I used to wade through when recruiting graduates were just dreadful, not just grammar and spelling but content. One candidate thought they were applying for a job with Corus Hotels instead of Corus the Steel Company.

JO SOWERBY said...

hilarious but also scary too. having completed lots of job applications this year the worst one is not spellchecking it, u never know what silly sentences u can make by accident and completly alter what was meant
by the way there is something sweet and sparkly for u to drool over on my blog
Jo xxx

scrappyjacky said...

They don't surprise me either...and the ones that go on insurance claims are even worse!!!

K said...

I'm sure some of them who put it on dont actually want the job but have to apply for it (such as for jobseekers).

That last one **face - palm** doh! thank goodness they realised in time, lol.

Rachel B said...

Yes it is amazing what people will put and not think anything of it! I teach 16-19 year olds and sometimes have to double check their CV's!!!!!!

Maria Ontiveros said...

Very funny. I used to interview people for a living and heard some very creative excuses.my favorite ( heard many times) I got fired because I didn't show up. But it wasn't my fault. I was in jail.
Rinda

Sian said...

No, nothing would surprise me about job applications either.

Thanks for putting up my button! Much appreciated.

Ruth said...

I've seen some right howlers in my time! Don't you love how the English language can be read many different ways?

paperpocket said...

Hilarious! You've got me wondering whether I've put something equally ridiculous in an application... eek!

xoxo